15 Dec Give Up. When all else fails, just give up
Give up?
You ever have moments like this?
- you’ve been trying to do something and you feel like you’ve hit a brick wall
- something hasn’t worked out the way you want
- you keep doing the same thing and hate how you feel
- you want love but find you keep messing up relationships
What about you? What are your moments like? Post a comment below
Time to stop
When we keep doing something and getting the same result (or in my example, when I felt used and wanted to give up) it’s time to stop. Reassess. Focus on a small moment, like the breath.
I remembered a simple intervention – rhythmic breathing that I learned from Richard Brown and Patricia Gerberg. It’s also used in Compassion Focused Therapy.
I’ve learned the hard way. In moments like this, before doing anything. Stop. These aren’t the times to do anything but ride the white waters of life. I’ve found it helps to know what I need and fill those needs of comfort, connection.
At those times I also need reality testing, being with people I believe in and who live with similar values: ethical, loyal, caring, considerate, compassionate. That helps me remember who I am and who most of us are.
What about you? What do you do to re-orient? leave a comment below and join the community of like-minded people
After that , it’s time to assess
Look for the deeper pattern, seeing what is unconsciously setting us up, finding ways to course correct. We don’t have to keep doing what we’ve been doing. We can change the things that haven’t worked, the ones that result in icky feelings of depression, anxiety, distress, isolation,
Giving up is only one side of the equation. The other side is opening up to something new. And the new is always waiting to flow in.
- New perspectives on old situations
- Experiences that help you embody who you want to be instead of living out old patterns that no longer work
- Gaining safety in opening your heart — and keeping it open
- Deepening an understanding of research and the literature on trauma, attachment and yoga psychology
- Knowing you’re not alone as you safely explore in a community of like minded people
Consistently, gradually but inevitably getting where you want to go
It’s why I created the Trauma, Attachment & Yoga training to provide a space for vibrant exploration, healing and transformation.
~ Ray Howard, LICSW Keene, NH
What’s your experience like? What works for you? What gets you dropping down the triggered vortex?