Getting free from the debris of a trauma and attachment history requires a rather extreme re-orientation. We have to shift our habitual orientation of looking outside of ourselves for the answer, for ways to fill ourselves up. The answers out there, right? So many of us have been trained to think that [...]
I’ve never had the experience before of being in love with a plant. As they say, there’s a time for everything. I have fallen in love with a geranium grown from a spud of a thing given to me by Amy Murphy who writes the blog “Of Gardens.” Teaching Transformation This gorgeous geranium lives in [...]
All relationships involve skirmishes. It’s sort of a given. It’s also why some people avoid getting close to others because those skirmishes can be disruptive. I’ve had my fair share over the years. Had one the other day with a colleague that I actually like really well. While some of these skirmishes are private, this [...]
You know those days when you feel a bit (or a lot) downtrodden?) Maybe you just want to curl up in bed and shut the world out. Or perhaps when someone suggests something positive all you want to do is tell them to “S… up!” We all know those states of being and respond (or react) with a wide range of strategies. To shift those patterns we need to have a new practice to put in place.
Entering into this conversation feels like a plunge into a vast ocean replete with so much yet without there being any “truth.” The question is about spirituality, religion, and ultimately about God. Is there a god, is there someone out there watching over us, managing us, judging us? Do I have to adhere to [...]
I thought long and hard about including the word spirituality in the Becoming Safely Embodied Manual. I use it when I speak with individual clients, and with groups of clients or therapists, yet I found myself pausing as I included it in the manual. I wanted to be respectful to those people who have been hurt by others using the terms, “spirituality” or “religion,” with ulterior motives. At the same time, I didn’t want to sacrifice my deepest intentions. Perhaps you might find it helpful if I clarify the way in which I use the word “spirituality,” so as to avoid confusion as you read further.
Spirituality, for the purposes of this manual, speaks to the underlying goodness, kindness, and compassion that we find in each other when our defenses soften. I personally have found the eastern traditions helpful in holding this non-religious frame, and I will sometimes speak directly from that experience. But I whole-heartedly acknowledge that others will have different references that work just as well (or better) for them.
Sitting watching the sun rise this morning I sat with the glorious changes that came as the sun reflected off the mountains in the distance, feeling my heart swell with gratitude for this simple, daily extravaganza. I don’t always get to see this natural explosion of beauty from my house in Boston where the multiplicity of buildings crowd out the vantage points to nature. Our inner journey sometimes feels the same. We don’t see the beauty, the love that surrounds us as we walk through the valley of the shadows.
A couple nights ago I had dinner with a dear friend who has a full and exciting life. Many opportunities are coming to her, all with enticing options. She’s pulled to do them. Yet, at the same time she longs to respond to an inner impulse which is guiding her to do other things with [...]
When we get stuck there are steps we can take to learn to trust and clear the patterns that keep us stuck.
Every meditation and spiritual teacher I have had in the last 30+ years, from every spiritual tradition, has always said, “Live in the moment” or “Let the past go; it’s already happened.” I’ve heard it and know it to be true. Yet it’s also true that letting go of how the past invades our [...]