Comments for Deirdre Fay

Comment on The Attachment Bind by Rita

Rita — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:08:55 +0000

Wow, this is such a wonderful, supportive piece by someone who “knows” – it is such a validation of my feelings – that they’re not just me being me and having to get over it.
My childhood was one of having to navigate a father I feared (yet I know he loved me) and trying to keep him happy and smiling at home – just so that he would not get angry. My mother was emotionally unavailable. I lost myself in those years and have lived in my own world since then. I am now 55. Never married, and am petrified of being alone with a man, keeping him interested – like it’s my job!
I can so relate to so many responses here – not trusting people, being most comfortable on my own but also I have the realisation that ‘alone’ is not the way to be in this world. One needs to participate and I find it frightening… but it is a necessary way forward, however, uncomfortable interactions are, I have to start living… for me!
Thank you Deirdre!

My challenge here in South Africa is finding a therapist who understands these dynamics!

Comment on Imagine triggers no longer triggering by Deirdre Fay

Deirdre Fay — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:26:39 +0000

Bless your heart. It is a long and hard road. As you already know from teaching to your students there is a way through. It can improve. It does take, in your words, deconstructing and reconstructing who you are, learning how to be in your inner world in a different way, learning to identify what is a thought, a feeling, a body sensation; learning to distinguish a fact from a feeling and lifting the weight off the feelings so they don’t rule your world. The big bang happened. Knowing that and realizing that you are here — in this moment and this moment doesn’t have a big bang. Doing that over and over again, a thousand different times, in a thousand different ways. At some point your body will come into alignment.

It’s a sacred journey. As all sacred journeys are, it’s a hard journey. Incredibly helpful when we’ve relearned these body/mind/heart patterns — till then it requires gentleness, compassion, kindness.

I wish all that for you.
Keep in touch,
deirdre

Comment on Learning about Limbic Regulation from Pasha by Deirdre Fay

Deirdre Fay — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:20:34 +0000

I am so very glad, Ilene. Your connection with Thea is important. As you say, these kinds of “primitive connections” aren’t easily explained. In the world of attachment theory that you can bond so fully is a sign of health.

Thanks for reaching out (another good attachment sign!) and sharing yourself with me/all of us.
deirdre

Comment on Learning about Limbic Regulation from Pasha by Ilene London

Ilene London — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:00:40 +0000

Great article, Deirdre, and though you wrote it months ago, it is timely for me to read it now. I’ve been questioning whether the profound depth of my connection to my 10 year old kitty Thea is ‘normal’. She’s being treated for breast cancer and is halfway thru her chemo. I love Thea so deeply that her illness literally makes my heart ache. Over the years I’ve noticed how I become blissfully and relaxed when I hold her and feel her thick soft fur, her deep purring, her warmth and pliancy. It feels like a prmitive connection. I was actually thinking this was abnormal, and a sign of my unresolved attachment issues. Now you have reassured me that what I am feeling is deep limbic regulation, and it all makes total sense. Thank you.
Ilene

Comment on Imagine triggers no longer triggering by Glenn

Glenn — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:36:50 +0000

Only just discovered your site. Thank you. I suffer fom PTSD and depression, only doagnosed and treated in 2010 after a major incident, i am afraid, of many. I live evrryday with a darkness, a black cloud of doom within. Nothing particularly triggers it, its just there. I have tried EMDR etc and no help.

I know meditate rgularly and look to be still and practice breathing as often as possible.

My job means i get involved in trauma, which doesn’t help, and I had another incident, this time in tems of relationships with another staff member. It has shown me Just how much the attributes of PTSD have become apart of my life.

I am know in the process of deconstructing and reconstructing who I am to be both mindful and compassionate. I teach this to my students.

Yet each day seems the same – waiting for the big bang.

At 56 i am dealing with the fallout of chidhood and a cacophony of tragedies since and wonder sometimes if it will ever improve. Yet i remain hopeful this time

Comment on Deb Koffman’s “Love-Hate” Art Installation by Deirdre Fay

Deirdre Fay — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:51:52 +0000

That’s a great title, Bunchy, “Interactive Art.” I agree with you about color (and almost every aspect of art) holding healing energies. I’ll make sure that Deb hears your comments and appreciation.

And I love that it’s re-inspired your commitment to heal. You are an inspiration to me and all those who you share yourself with. What an honor to have you a part of this community.
Deirdre

Comment on Deb Koffman’s “Love-Hate” Art Installation by Bunchy

Bunchy — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:46:49 +0000

This is a very inspiring installation. Something I would call interactive Art. I see it as a practical tool that I can use, it is certainly something that resonates within me.

I am an artist and work with various media, often textiles. Colour is very important to me and I believe holds healing energies.

I have never worked with installations or words in the way that Deb has, (I’ve really enjoyed looking at her site), and feel that her work is both thought and soul provoking.

I like to be challenged and find the work personally challenging. In fact it has re-inspired my intention to heal and continue working with the BSE course that Deidre is at present running.

So….thank you Deidre for putting this work on the ezine and also for the links to Deb;s blog,

Bunchy

Comment on Mindfulness Groups for Anxiety and Depression by Certain Treatments Effective in Reducing PTSD among Trauma Survivors

Certain Treatments Effective in Reducing PTSD among Trauma Survivors — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 01:03:24 +0000

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Comment on Anatomy of a Freeze by Anatomy of a Freeze – or Dorsal Vagal Shutdown | Éiriú Eolas

Anatomy of a Freeze – or Dorsal Vagal Shutdown | Éiriú Eolas — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:50:24 +0000

[...] of a Freeze – or Dorsal Vagal Shutdown by Bret Lyon dfay.com January 14, [...]

Comment on Comments from the Embodied Practices Participants by Ability to Forget Gives You a Healthy Mind? — dfay.com

Ability to Forget Gives You a Healthy Mind? — dfay.com — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 18:28:15 +0000

[...] If you’d like some support in training your heart and mind to focus I’d love to have you join us in the next round of the Embodied Practices Course starting January 27, 2012. For more information click here. To read what others have said about the course click here. [...]