24 Nov [Article] Quitting 2012 and Making Room For More
A couple nights ago I had dinner with a dear friend who has a full and exciting life. Many opportunities are coming to her, all with enticing options. She’s pulled to do them. Yet, at the same time she longs to respond to an inner impulse which is guiding her to do other things with her time and her life. She couldn’t figure out how to put all the pieces together.
As we talked about this dilemma it was clear there isn’t always time to do everything. She was going to have to say no to some things.
Interestingly enough, this conversation was dovetailing into internal musing I’d been having with myself as we near the end of the calendar year.
The more I talk to people the more I realize something simple: to reach for the next bit of life we often have to let go of some things. When we want to change we have to shift gears, turn the corner, do things differently, sometimes without even knowing where we’re being led.
In one of the online forums I am a part of a number of people are exploring what they want to get done before the end of the year. They want to start 2013 with a clean, clear slate.
It reminded me of all the years I spent living at Kripalu Center. Every time I felt the push to leave or go and do something different I would take some time to reflect:
What pattern in me do I want to shift before I leave and start something new?
That reflection would led to a decision to stay at Kripalu usually in a six month increment during which time I would put the adjustment I wanted into central focus. That focus defined how I oriented my meditations, my interaction, how I spent my time. When that part of the pattern shifted I would then do the next six month review and make the next decisions.
That’s what had me start noodling around with this and wanted to see if you wanted to join me in this exploration?
- What pattern or way of being do you want to “quit” this year, change, alter, shift, to open up space in the new year?
- Is there something you have been longing to do for a long time and just haven’t ever done?
Take some time to mull that over. It might already be at the tip of your heart, waiting for you to pay attention to it.
If it helps write it out by categories: Personal? Professional? Specific individuals? Physical health? Mental health? Spiritually?
- Is there a global, over-arching shift you want? How would that larger vision/shift trickle down into this other categories?
The Becoming Safely Embodied Skill of Carving Out A New Path is part of this exercise for those of you who have already used it. Even if you haven’t done the step by step process outlined in the BSE skills here’s the basic outline:
- Where is you want to go? Look forward into life instead of looking back over your shoulder to the past. What is calling to you?
- Once you have an idea of what you want you need to say “No” to some things in order to make space and clear some ground. It might be saying no to activities or delineating how you want to structure your time.
Often we get caught because the new is not yet manifest so we don’t trust the inner longing as “real.”
We downplay it, push it aside, dismiss it, feel hopeless about ever attaining it. Often we wonder how to say no to things that are important to us especially when the other thing is not manifest, not real, yet – or ever.
This is where a psycho-spiritual path is different from a standard, worldly success path. This path is based on living life from the inside instead of pushing and striving to do things “right” by other people’s standards.
It involves something that is initially foreign to many of us: developing trust in the goodness and love of the universe, of God, of source energy (use whatever word you like.) Learning to trust that you belong, that you matter, that love is the central organizing factor in everything.
As one of my clients said years ago, “Deirdre, you look through rose colored glasses.” Well, after practicing and applying these principles to her life she recently said to me, “I guess I’m the one wearing the rose colored glasses now!” and we both laughed and laughed.
That’s what’s possible though, to relax the protective parts, to trust the guidance always rising from within.
What has your experience been?