27 Nov Giving Thanks, especially in times of mistakes
I don’t know about you, but I hate making mistakes. On Monday, not only did I make one mistake, but I had to stop counting. It’s generally not like this for me — not that it is so rare, mind you. Whatever the frequency, I hate it when I mistakenly or otherwise, make a mistake (or two or three.)
Monday, I could feel the whiff of old familiar voices piling in calling me all kinds of names, taunting me with what a ding-a-ling I am (true confessions: those aren’t the exact words….. :))
It helps at those times to have a go-to, “get out of jail” orientation and practice.
Years of practice have taught me it’s better/easier to have a practice in the background for those times when the poo piles up. I’ve found it helps to have an orientation that re-vectors me when I’m caught unawares.
The orientation that helps me is comes from one of my best teachers: the geranium in my office that Amy Murphy who writes the blog Of Gardens gave me.
Yes, that’s it in the picture above.
It sits across from where I sit in my office so I commune with it a lot.
It’s relentless, that geranium. Every time I turn it away from the sun it turns back. Within hours. It knows what it wants. It wants to open its leaves to the sun, gathering warmth, light.
As my colleague in Glasgow, Frank Corrigan, MD reminded me, photosynthesis is it’s nature. Geranium is doing what it’s meant to do.
It teaches me day in and day out to turn toward what nourishes me. On those days (like Monday) when I say something stupid, or do something dumb, or am inadvertently hurtful my geranium reminds me there’s a different way of being than my well-trained self criticism and well-honed self hatred.
It nudges me by gently and consistently to turn toward what nourishes me, just as it does for itself.
In order to do that we need to know what feels good. What feels “right?” What makes your bodies ease? Sometimes we don’t know, especially when we’ve practiced being mean to ourselves more than being good to ourselves.
That’s where a “go-to” practice can come in handy, so I wanted to give you a simple gift.
Here’s my go-to practice – click here
I knew as Thanksgiving approached that I wanted to give you something, something that is important to me, so I thought I’d give you a live recorded audio of me guiding a group in the Six Sides of the Breath practice.
It might be one of my most consistent practices over the past thirty plus years. It’s something I’ve done throughout almost every day, often multiple times a day. The practice helps me land inside my own skin, helps me hold whatever energy is moving through me or around me. It helps me when I’m tired, when I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, when I’m quiet and reflective, when my heart is full of love. Mostly it helps me re-orient when I’m off kilter, when I’ve said or done something not so good.
The audio was taped at the 2014 IFS Conference in Providence, RI (USA) a couple weeks ago. Dick Schwartz, who founded the Internal Family Systems model of therapy, invited me to give a day long workshop at the conference. It may have well been the best workshop I’ve ever given in all these many years.
Because the audio was recorded live at a conference it won’t be flawless. You might be able to hear people in the next conference room but hopefully you’ll get the instructions and the energy. It’s why it isn’t downloadable. If you are wanting a downloadable copy you can find it here. So many people have asked me for downloadable versions of this and the yoga nidra I led at the workshop that I’m in the process of recording them. I’ll keep you posted on that.
In the meantime, I’m sending you goodness. Applauding you from the sidelines for all the courage and heart it takes to live a full life.
Deirdre
You might also enjoy reading this post by the New York Open Center on gratitude.
To find out about upcoming retreats and workshops:
Mindful Self Compassion January 18-23, 2015, Barre, MA click here
Entering and Embodying the Intersubjective Matrix, March 20-21, 2015, Concord, MA email me for more information
Mindful Self Compassion April 24-26 & May 1& 3, 2015 near Hilton Head, SC click here