24 May Do you – or don’t you – value relationships?
Valuing relationships is one of the hallmarks of a secure attachment.
I heard this frequently from my mentor on attachment theory, Daniel Brown, PhD, during my thirteen years of study with him.
Many of us didn’t get that positive relational modeling growing up. Now we’re learning how to cultivate that inside, imprinting something much more satisfying.
It was certainly true in my life. Along the way it meant I had to release defenses that kept me protected from being hurt by relationships that mattered to me.
Doing that over the years has gifted me with relationships that have changed the course of my life.
Like the moment when I realized, sitting in that dark, not-so-comfortable seminar room where Dan was teaching that attachment theory was the missing piece of why trauma didn’t heal.
Or the time when I was in India sitting on an open-air platform listening to a yogic guru speak about destiny and life purpose and how our soul knows itself in this lifetime.
Following those inquiries I learned how conflict and repair builds enormous trust in oneself and in others…as I navigated the intricacies of boundaries, connection, vulnerability, and safe dependencies.
And the enormous gift of my relationship with my beloved husband Jack Rotondi who has shown me love in its widest and deepest capacities. He’s shown me how to not take life too personally, letting life be a lot more free, while also connected at the most profound levels.
Then there are the unexpected joys of connecting with people like Randee who happened to be visiting the city I live in…not knowing it’s where I live until just days before her visit. And guess what? She had her Becoming Safely Embodied book with her which she asked me to sign! I was delighted to do so.
Randee is a chaplain who is using the BSE skills to help those she serves.
We’ve seen over and over that when any of us takes the steps to help others heal we are, step by step, making the world a better place to live.
Which translates into an incredible honor for me to support people who affect so many others.
Today, like so many days, I get emails like this:
I am a trauma therapist and have read your book and would love to get certified.
That sparked some creative thinking about how to offer my certification in a fresh way soon…to share the extraordinary combination of trauma treatment (that has decades of validated results) with the Becoming Safely Embodied skills combined with the power of attachment theory.
And, of course, how this nourishing combination is uniquely designed to help ourselves and others build a SOLID, STEADY, and SECURE Self…UNSHAKEABLE in the face of our complicated lives.
p.s. if you’re already on my email list, please keep an eye out for emails about upcoming opportunities.
If you’d like to get on my email list please sign up for the free Safe Guide here.
Sending goodness,
