24 Feb Is there a way NOT to be frustrated?
The other day Jack (my husband and colleague) came out of his home office with a mysterious expression on his face … he’d discovered a choice point.
Tell me more!
You see, we have this rug with a never-ending, fixated curl at the corner, right in the path from the door to his desk.
You say, well, just turn the rug.
Easy for you to say!!! lol
This one-sided rug, when turned, has a similar gleeful curl on the opposite corner, resisting compliance!!
Jack’s been patient (as he tends to be) – then had this lightbulb …
Instead of getting quietly frustrated, irritated, battling with the rug … he chose something different.
Whether we “believe” it or not, at every moment, we can choose something different.
What makes it difficult and complicated is the automatic habitual response that we’ve unconsciously (inadvertently) practiced moment after moment.
Well, in this moment, Jack decided instead of fighting with the rug and feeling frustrated, he’d use that curled corner of the rug as a chance to send someone metta (loving kindness).
That, my friends, is the eureka moment.
Wow. And what if … we leaned into that moment … and created another moment?
What if when we start going down the rabbit hole of habitual anger, resentment, over-spending, over-drinking, over-eating, controlling food, emotions, or any habit … in the moment – what if instead we choose something neutral or even nourishing.
What might be possible in that moment?
Granted, none of us FEEL we have choice in those habitual moments.
That’s how the habit traps us.
We don’t conjure an alternative …
Or we can’t imagine anything different …
Or we’re afraid choosing something different will be even worse …
Or (fill in your preferred response here …)
One of the mesmerizing tasks I have is being with incredible people, like the group that joined the Becoming Safely Embodied course (now available as a self-study course).
We’ve had two course coaching calls and I’ve loved every minute, every inquiry.
The first call we confronted those parts of us that want to do things right.
#NeverBeWRONG!
But we will make mistakes. The healing path in life is to have more options, more flexibility … THROUGH trying alternatives, through making mistakes … that’s HOW it happens …
Wisdom traditions describe a pliable body mind heart, choosing to do things differently. To make different choices.
To be KIND to ourselves when we get upset, angry, frustrated, whine-y, needy, careless…
To see what opens when we widen our horizon.
It can be confrontational to live the inquiry:
WHO do I want to be right now?
HOW do I choose to interact with myself and others around me?