04 May Empathy and Attunement at a Car Mechanic Shop
Yesterday, my colleague Carol Goldman, LICSW sent out an email to all of us who were at an Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples workshop. We all got into this wonderful place of resonance. Carol’s way of being shines through in this interaction. It’s beautiful and I asked her permission to share it with you. Here it is – in her words:
I went to a new auto mechanics to have my tires rotated. At 7 am the place was crowded with customers and the phone was ringing off the hook. One mechanic was dealing with all the demands while soothing an angry person on the phone with patience and restraint.
After a while we were alone and I shared how impressed I was with his way of making everyone feel good in that challenging situation.
“Thank you for saying that. All I hear is criticism. My brother (the boss) tells me I’m bad with the customers, rude and impatient. He complains about me all the time.”
“That must be hard to hear. I can see how hard you are working to please and take care of everyone.”
His eyes welled up with tears. “You’re the only one who has ever said that.” I said how sad it is to feel that no one sees or recognizes us. At this point he’s dabbing his eyes and telling me that his brother won’t give him a raise or pay for his health insurance but is going to offer health insurance for a new hire.
“That is so unfair – to be working so hard and caring so much about doing a good job and not feeling appreciated. Anyone would be upset. We all deserve to be complimented and valued.”
Other customers arrived. He went back to work and I went back to my book.
When the car was ready he said “No charge. You made my day.”