04 Sep Embodied Practices Questions and Responses
Over the past few weeks I have received numerous questions from people asking me more about the Embodied Practices Course to see if the course will be right for them. Here are a few of the questions and my responses to them.
Do the questions help you? Do my reflections support you? Let me know, okay? Comments are open below the Q&R
Deirdre
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Dear Deirdre ~
I have been subscribed to you for some time now. Your videos, audios and emails have been of great help to me. I have survived horrible trauma, but just surviving it is not enough. I want to do more than this.
I have not been able to find your Becoming Safely Embodied book in my rural home town. I would like to obtain this book and would appreciate your help in doing so.
This new course Embodied Practices that you are offering on line appeals to me greatly. I am in Montana so I cannot attend in person. Would I be “starting in the middle”? Or, do you think this course is a good place to begin?
It’s an interesting question about starting in the middle. My first thought is no. Or maybe a better answer is there are numerous ways to walk toward healing. The Becoming Safely Embodied Skills are one way to open the door, they’re about organizing the mind. We’ll do some of that in the Embodied Practices, but these are oriented toward using the principles of yoga and meditation to awaken the healing potentials we all have. The other area that’s important is the arena of healing our attachment wounds. That’s something I’ll be putting on line in the next year.
Most important, though, is to true your heart and feel what’s right at the time. Trying some of the pieces I have out there and seeing if they appeal to you is a good way to check. I’ve tried to price the Embodied Practices as low as I can so that people can have as much access as possible. But the best way to know is to move into your heart, ask and listen. I’d of course, love to have you join us.
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Having chronic illness how to feel peace and confidence within.
It’s hard to have something physically difficult happening to us. There’s no simple and easy solution to that. What can change and be different is our relationship to that physically difficult experience, in your case chronic illness. It’s completely possible to change our perceptual lens. That’s where we find, and cultivate, the peace and confidence that makes chronic illness less debilitating. That’s in part what the Embodied Practices are designed to do. It’ll be interesting – and important to me – to hear from you about how they are working for you and how I can make them even better, more specific for you and others dealing with similar issues.
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Getting there (i.e. out of the thinking mind), staying there, knowing how to get back into my body (i.e. out of my head) when I realize I’ve lost the thread…. I think you get the gist.
Something we all deal with every day! Thanks for the question. Since it’s impossible to not be in that cycle of dropping the thread and picking it up again the best exploration is catching ourselves in the act sooner. “Ah! There I go again….” As we see that happening 20,000 times a day we become more lenient with ourselves and we take it less negatively. A great practice for this is the self-compassion break which you can find by clicking here: https://dfay.com/archives/3380
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My biggest challenge is when I am overwhelmed with anxiety … I just can’t seem to get my body to drop out of “fight or flight” mode. It impacts my sleep, my social life, and my ability to enjoy life.
Anxiety –or the opposite, depression – are debilitating side effects of trauma and attachment wounding. There are some practical steps to take: decreasing reliance on caffeine or chocolate (bummer, I know), easing back on sugar intake and white flour (I know, I know….. but it really can make a difference….), getting regular exercise (okay, I get it – but really it does help….)
Okay, besides those things which someone with chronic anxiety and depression will be rolling their eyes at when I say that, besides those things the best thing that helps is learning to change our relationship to our bodies, to the anxiety or depression. What that means is learning to not “be” the anxiety but rather learning to separate from, dis-identify from the anxiety so that it no longer fills your body so thoroughly. One of the skills we’ll be looking at in the Embodied Practices is about emotional contagion and boundaries. The more you know your own body experience the more you can learn when you are picking up the leaked anxiety or depression from others, from the environment around you. Then having emotional or energetic boundaries to protect you can help in shifting the huge effect on you.
Yet, even with these simple skills you may be bearing a great deal of physiological distress that is the result of trauma. That’s where it is essential to change your relationship to the anxiety, to soften into it, relax around it, open your heart to yourself as you are suffering. I’m sorry you’re in pain.
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Complete integration eludes me. I just did a integration ceremony by myself for myself and I’ve been doing much, much better. I feel safer within myself, yet, there is still something that hasn’t quite clicked in. I use the skills and tools and it has helped tremendously. I even mediate now. There is still some part of myself that is terrified. And when I begin to feel that the winds start to blow though I at least I recognize it and can regulate myself…, something just doesn’t feel connected as a whole inside.., I’m sure it’s something I haven’t grasped from your tools , skills n processes. So I believe this would be the edge I need to move a little further on my path to healing.
I’m glad to hear you’re doing much, much better. It must be wonderful to feel safer within yourself – and yet, I understand that longing for more, for that something that “hasn’t quite clicked in.” I’m thrilled you have found the skills to be helpful and impressed and amazed that you even mediate now.
Does it help to know that I understand about that terrified part that is still there? I imagine almost everyone who reads this will know. Terror is something that can be very intense when it gets activated. One of the best skills I know is learning to let those winds move through without getting caught in them. Obviously, you know something about this as you write “at least I recognize it and can regulate myself…” That’s a huge step forward.
Now to connect more the dots inside so you feel whole. Some of this is the ever moving spiral of healing, learning new skills, practicing, applying, gaining wisdom – and then doing it all over again. The Embodied Practices will be oriented to do just this, provide skills, practices that you can try out and learn from inside. As you do your own wisdom will grow. I hope you’ll be joining us as I look forward to learning from you as well.
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How will I know I have achieved safe embodiment in my body?
This is such a great question! My own experience of feeling safely embodied is having confidence and a sense of groundedness, even purpose in my being that goes beyond just a body experience. Sometimes I can still be amazed when I have the experience of really being fully here, in this moment, alive, awake, open to whatever even when it’s not that pleasant. I know I can count on myself to encounter life in all its forms. That brings a great sense of satisfaction.
I’m curious what other people’s experience is and how they would answer that? Anyone want to give a try to that? What about you? What do you imagine being safely embodied would feel like, look like?
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I have been in some pain for a while and signed up for your newsletter. I don’t read it because I really don’t like reading on a computer. Is this going to be a problem if I sign up for the course.
It might be since most of the course will be delivered in written form which you can download. There will also be audios to listen to. Only you will know if it will be too much. I’m hoping that the material will be so engaging that you will want to read it, hopefully in bite size pieces that are manageable for you. I trust you’ll do what’s right for yourself. If it’s not the right thing then I wish you all the best in your continuing healing and hope we meet up again in the future.