The good things in life can be just as destabilizing as the difficult things.
I’ve found this out– the good way.
Norton Publishing released my book on April 11th and within a few days it had sold over 1000 copies.
People have written to me about the positive effect the book has had on them.
One person brought the book to her therapist only to find out her therapist had already bought one for herself. They then used the skills in their sessions to support their work.
Another person wrote me that the book was earth-shattering, changing how she experienced attachment healing. It was as if she was just learning the earth is round when she always thought it was flat.
Shakes me up. To know that my history and all the pain and suffering I’ve been through can be helpful to others.
For days, I found myself in somewhat of a muddle even as my body was centered and grounded. It was hard to focus and prepare for my upcoming keynote at the Harvard Conference on Meditation and Psychotherapy (which I really want to be ready for!)
So, once again everything I taught myself – and teach you – came in handy. I had to put everything I knew into practice.
It was so clear to me that the tools I learned, and teach, to deal with the complexities of trauma are just as critically important in good times as in bad.
I’m saying this because it’s worth preparing now for the good times ahead of you. Practice now so that you’re ready then.
Maybe that means that healing our trauma is really about preparing for a better life, not exclusively dealing with the pain of the past?
Healing trauma is a modern day bodhisattva training
I’ve often thought that healing trauma is the modern day bodhisattva training (a bodhisattva is someone motivated by great compassion who deals with suffering as a doorway to greater good for all.)
[as a total aside, this will be one of the main concepts we’ll explore in the upcoming Meditation for Trauma online course: how to transform our pain into healing for ourselves, and for others]
We put our bodhisattva training into practice in simple ways.
Last night I went to a wake for one of my brother’s college friends. I saw how important my simple gesture was for our friend. It meant even more that my brother drove through almost seven hours of dreadful weather to get there.
We don’t even have to take extreme measures like my brother did. In fact, research shows how important simple friendship gestures can be, building adversity in difficult times.
Dr Rebecca Garber researched 75 socially-isolated adults who used online social networking sites to find that (best) friendships “are a protective mechanism supporting the development of psychological resilience in adults.”
My hope, my dream, my purpose….
One of my main goals is to find ways for us to have community, where we know we are not alone, where we have ways to support and be supported. I don’t quite know how this will unfold, but I know that when we feel less alone, less isolated there’s greater chances for healing.
Keep the faith!
Learning to trust the good things in life can definitely feel shaky. I’m certainly in the stew with you on that. And yet, the more we do, the easier and more fulfilling life is.
How are you learning to trust good things? Have friendships helped you? Do you agree that you’re in a bodhisattva training?
Leave a comment below. Let’s grow a community of goodness, support, and compassion.