13 May An Ordinary Miracle Happens
One of our longtime community members recently described, on a group call, a struggle they were having. That’s one part of the story.
The other part is…. those of you who have been in my workshops or trainings may know this… I can be a bit of a pain in the a** at times. What do I mean by that? Well, I look for opportunities, safely and appropriately, to invite people to stretch outside their comfort zones…and that can sometimes be difficult to hear.
So, this time, I was being that way with this person. I even asked if could be a “pain”, offering to help and inviting a shift in perspective. At the same time, I made it totally OK or them to say “No”.
This person had the courage to say “No”. They stayed connected to themselves…feeling safe to say no. Bravo.
I returned to my original plan for the call, a variation of the Becoming Safely Embodied exercise, “Telling and Retelling”, which I had gleaned from the work of Michael White back when I was in graduate school.
It can be an invaluable tool. A simple and powerfully effective perspective shifter. Over the years since Michael White first gave me the idea, I’ve come across research papers pointing to similar ways of creating a flexible mind.
Which is also one of the goals of meditation. To return our minds to a pliable state.
Our response to traumatic events, our ongoing patterns, tend to become rigid over time. ‘Course, that’s an important, normal defense to keep bad stuff from intruding.
With both contemporary research and meditation, the “goal” of a flexible pliable body, heart, mind is the ability to challenge our imprinted expectations.
As we become more pliable, we are more open to flickers of “something” that might be challenging, perplexing our usual assumptions. These moments can show up in our peripheral vision as we encounter people, information and ideas.
Instead of going along in an habitual way we start recognizing these odd moments as signals inviting us to change.
It’s like our guardian angels are sprinkling new ?? ? paths ahead IF we dare to pivot just a tiny bit.
It’s not even about saying yes instead of no…
…more like, “huh?” “What was that? That’s weird.” “Wonder why that happened?”
Something doesn’t fit the old pattern. Instead of throwing it out…we simply pause. And notice. And be curious. “Hmmm. That’s odd.”
Gathering clues that don’t fit together yet but point us somewhere other than our encrusted patterns.
That’s what I witnessed in this last coaching call. I saw many in the group start “lighting” up with possibilities. And sharing these possibilities.
I love when simple experiential moments invite people to no longer experience life as daunting. Here’s what was shared on this same coaching call:
- “the idea of change made a visit”
- “I feel connected and free”
- “Instead of feeling what’s missing I became more creative” [this from the member who had said “No” earlier but was able to stay with her experience]
- “It was amazing to be met with celebration and encouragement instead of ‘don’t be so full of yourself'”
- “I’m really excited about channeling difficult things into something really positive, some positive future”
- “Guess what? As we were doing this exercise a client wrote and wanted to start working with me!”
- “I’m realizing how resilient I am and secure in my heart”
- “It reminded me how important it is to slow down, pause long enough to listen to my heart”
Let’s light up the world together with our hearts and spirit.