Jane’s comments reveal: Six factors that support transformation out of stuck places
When we suffer we’re are prone to feeling stuck, lost, isolated, hopeless that anything can change. We want things to be different yet it’s such a heavy weight to push against the tide of life. It’s been this way for so long how can I change? How can it be different?
Maybe you’re like me? Maybe you know that felt experience well?
I’m lucky to also know the shift that can come when I do something different, why I persevere, despite all the difficulties.
Relaxing on vacation this past week I came upon something Dan Siegel wrote, “The brain changes in response to experience throughout the lifespan, and that means clinical interventions need to be framed in the context of neuroplasticity.”
The more I learn about the importance of being exposed to something new, while being in a safe environment, the more dedicated I am to doing all I can to help others shift out of these painful states.
Jane R. recently wrote me an email after taking the Meditation Skills to Heal Trauma and Attachment online course. Her email took my breath away.
Without knowing the research, Jane outlined seven important transformational factors to heal trauma and attachment wounding.
With her permission, (thank you, Jane!) I’m using some of her words to illustrate seven factors:
Factor: Receiving new experience and being changed by it
First and foremost I experienced so many moments (during the course) where I just had to sit back in my seat in amazement, and take in the feeling of being understood.
I have felt very alone in my struggles at times because it’s so hard to explain an experience for which there are really no words for. I’ve felt there’s been something wrong with me and felt separate so often, blaming myself from being like this, whatever it is! So many times reading your comments and going through the course material, has literally taken my breath away at times. A huge amount of feeling so very grateful and thankful for finding you and your work.
Factor: Valuing resonance instead of trying to fit into someone else’s box/perception of who you are supposed to be.
I think I’ve said before how my experiences of some traditional meditation, yoga or compassion practises have left me feeling more like I’m doing something wrong and then spiraled into more despair, because it has felt like it’s another thing I can’t get right. This course and you have helped reinforce my growing understanding that it’s not me being wrong, and that I can speak up and look at what I need.
Factor: Felt experience of being on firmer ground,
“a feeling that I was on the edge and below me has appeared a safety net. A net that feels empowering because it’s coming from inside me, not dependant on “out there”
Factor: Taking a safe risk to try something new
I was in a fragile place when I started the course and wasn’t sure if I could take the leap and sign up or connect with people, partly because there was so much shame in me for feeling like I hadn’t been able to cope with life and feeling so wrong. I will be forever grateful to you for being on this part of my journey. I’m still taking in all the experiences and practices and will be continuing to process and integrate it all so I can see where I am now.
Factor: Skills that contribute to organizing the body, mind, heart
The practices you have taught have been wonderful. I will definitely be using them from now on. A couple of my biggest difficulties before the course started, had been with the constant noise in my head, meaning I was unable to focus and feeling so mentally exhausted by the noise. I kept thinking I had to wait until something happened in my healing, then the noise would stop. But the concentration and mindfulness practices you taught have turned this around. I’ve experienced a quietening of the noise (not silent yet!!!! More work to do…….)! I was approaching it the wrong way round, I think.
Factor: Living in a black and white world: learning to integrate, develop flexibility
The other difficulty was the constant inner conflict about feeling or thinking one thing or another. I was operating in a rigid or chaos mode. Using so hum and anjali mudra have been amazing for me. I experience less internal conflict and so again, less noise in my head. They help me to hold this too….. and two things at the same time, whatever those two things are at that moment. It’s felt amazing.
Factor: Learning to be seen, to be a part of, to belong, to be worthy
I feel a bit scared to be seen and take part, a lot of fears of not feeling worthy enough to join in have surfaced and some fear.
Hopefully, Jane’s insights will help you explore your own world, orienting you to what’s possible.
Frankly, I love hearing the wisdom that arises out of our experiences. Feel free to join the community of people committed to transforming suffering into healing by commenting below.