Tag Archives: Attachment

Shame is a developmental wound

Below is an excerpt from my book coming out in January, 2017 from Norton Publishing. To attend a day long workshop @Brattleboro Retreat September 23 click here ”Those god-awful moments of shame take over in a nanosecond. Anyone who has had the experience of shame can recall the acute experience, the physiological horror of wanting […]

Reach Out to Let Go

                Between Two Mountains | Tricycle Originally published in Tricycle Magazine, Spring 2002 For all the horror and trauma that terrorism creates, its lasting power resides in the largely irrational fear we create and then magnify with our minds. Today, statistics show that airplanes are twenty-two times safer […]

As easy as learning to ride a bike? It takes learning, unlearning, relearning over and over

Learning to ride a backwards bike takes time to unlearn the neurobiological biases already wired.  Then shift and ride a normal bike there’s another learning undoing that has to happen. It’s also true with the healing process. Our perceptual lens has us experience the world from our Internal Working Model. We think we’re stuck, doomed […]

Attach and Give Your Brain a Break – Jon Allen

Complex as they may be, the gist of the findings is elegant and important: the more the woman was on her own while she was feeling threatened, the greater the number of brain areas showing elevated activity. The brain was least active when the woman was holding her husband’s hand and most active when she had no hand to hold. Moreover, even though all couples had a good relationship, the women who were in a less satisfying relationship showed more elevated brain activity when holding their husband’s hand than those who were in a more satisfying relationship.

How You Become You

  How do we become who we are? The question has percolated in me for over thirty years as I’ve explored this subject.  Joseph Campbell was famous for talking about how the acorn is programmed and designed to become an oak tree. How do I become fully me?  Authentic, genuine, safe in my body and […]

Securely Attached Families and Teens

Virginia Nielsen MA LPC NCC,  Ben Taussig MA LPC NCC, Vanessa Wray Williams MA LPC NCC made this video as part of a community education project on the family lifespan in the last course of their graduate degree programs. It deals with many of the things teens, parents, and families wish they could talk about with […]

The Heart Grows Smarter – David Brooks

    One of my favorite opinion writers is David Brooks from the New York Times, offering thoughtful and psychologically well     informed responses to life.   Recently he wrote  The Heart Grows Smarter an exploration of the Grant Study which was a     longitudinal research tracking 268 Harvard students from 1938 throughout their lives. […]

Healing the Missing Link

Over the past years I’ve stumbled, almost by accident, across a missing ingredient in healing trauma and attachment wounding. Underneath the trauma reactivity and physiological arousal, underneath  repairing the attachment wounds, there’s a doorway into building a positive self-structure. As therapists we tend to overlook this, bypassing it, focusing more on the obviously distracting physiological […]

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